Time is a Cruel Thing
by thegirlwithtwofaces
Summary: It's two years after Sirius fell through the veil in the battle at the Department of Mysteries, and now he's back. But what has changed? Sirius/Remus; Remus/Tonks Rated T for implied slash and language.
1. Chapter 1

Sirius is back two years after falling through the veil, but what has changed?

Okay, before you read, please know that this is my FIRST FanFiction. Criticism is expected and welcomed. That being said, Enjoy!(:

No Remus/Sirius slash [yet, and it is certainly implied]

Disclaimer: I'm not JK Rowling. Period. And I seriously doubt that she would be on a Fan Fiction website writing amateur stories such as this one. C;

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Sirius POV

Sirius woke up to the blackness surrounding him. He felt around him blindly, feeling the cold, smooth surface below him. "What in the bloody hell..." he thought, before remembering what had happened. He remembered laughing at his cousin, Bellatrix for her horribly aimed curses she was attempting to throw at him in the Department of Mysteries. He remembered taking a step black, into the fluttering, black veil. But most of all, he remembered the faces around him. Harry's, showing clear shock and disbelief at where his godfather was standing. Bellatrix's, a horrible sneer showing her yellowed teeth, a reminder of her years in Azkaban. But above all, he remembered Remus's beautiful, aged face looking at him, his golden eyes widening in fear. Sirius raised a hand to his aching head and felt a bump. How long had he been asleep, or unconscious, or whatever it was? Where in the hell was he? He tried to look around him, but only an impenetrable area of darkness met his eyes. Sighing, he clumsily stood up, searching for a way out. Groping through the darkness, he strained to see what was ahead of him. The tiniest speck of light shone through the inky black. Stumbling towards it, Sirius saw the light growing bigger, brighter. And then he was out. A pressure he hadn't realized was there lifted off his chest, and he looked around at the stone stands. Where was everyone? Surely the fight wasn't over already. He had only been in there for an hour or so. Then a feeling of dread crept through him, the skin on is arms tightening. Maybe, they had lost. Maybe they had taken the kids and the members of the Order. Sirius ran. He ran as fast he could to the only place he could think of.

Approaching Grimmauld Place, Sirius stood at the weathered black door. He turned the knob slowly, preparing himself for the sight of the empty house he had always loathed. He stepped through the threshold, holding his breath as a whole other scene greeting his eyes. Through the long and narrow hallway, Sirius could see Molly Weasley in a checked apron, stirring what looked to be soup from the large pot on the stove. Next to her was Tonks, her bright hair bobbing as she moved about energetically, and occasionally giving small kisses on the cheek of a tall bloke standing with his back to Sirius. Who was he? A new member of the Order? Sirius looked closer, to see if it was somebody he knew. And then he looked at the navy jumper he was wearing. He recognized that sweater. It was the one Sirius had given Remus for Christmas. No. No, it couldn't be. But his thoughts were interrupted by Mrs. Weasley yelling. "Everyone come down here for supper! It's soup for tonight!" A boy with messy black hair caught his attention, running down the crooked stairs, closely followed by a red haired girl Sirius recognized vaguely as the only Weasley daughter. The smiling boy turned towards the hallway, and froze, the giggling girl running into his back. Harry didn't even blink at the contact, his mouth gaping open, looking remarkably like a goldfish out of its bowl.

"Oh my… Oh my god, it's Sirius!" Ginny gasped, tucking a long strand of hair behind her ear. "It can't be!"

Harry stared, his bright green eyes boring into Sirius' grey ones. He cleared his throat. "You… you see him too?" he managed to utter, breathless from shock. Without another word, he ran at Sirius, sobbing and laughing into his coat. Sirius slowly put his arms around him, hugging him tightly, still pondering over what had happened. Everything was happening so fast. How long had he been gone? But while he pondered, he realized that Harry had grown a good 3 inches and he had a trace of stubble on his chin and cheeks. He looked over to the kitchen, its occupants now aware of his entry after Harry's outcry. Both Molly and Tonks stared, a mixture of surprise, happiness and disbelief crossing their faces. But Sirius only looked at Remus' face. Remus stood there, his eyes reflecting astonishment and guilt. Sirius stared once again at the clasped hands, a feeling of understanding and dread washing through him.

"How… how long have I been gone?" He breathed.

Harry looked up at him, finally pulling away from the hug,"Two years, Sirius! Where have you been? You fell through the damned curtain, and everybody said you were dead, but I knew it couldn't be true!" The wide grin on his face made Sirius smile too, remembering his promise to Prongs.

"I don't really know, to be honest," Sirius muttered, "I thought I was only in there for a bit. Where in the bloody hell is Bellatrix? I'm going to murder her sorry ass."

"She's dead," Tonks spoke for the first time, "Molly got her in the final battle." She grinned at Mrs. Weasley, who in turn replied with a sheepish smile.

"Well, I couldn't just let her go, could I?" She said, smiling warmly up at Sirius. "Come on into the kitchen dear and we'll explain everything. And have some soup. You look awfully peaky." Sirius grinned in turn, but the smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

Sirius walked into the familiar kitchen, careful to avoid Remus's stare. While tucking into his soup, a rumpled looking Ron Weasley and a bushy haired girl walked in. Sirius gave Ron a knowing wink, and he flushed. "Obviously snogging." Sirius smugly thought before returning to his onion soup. Memories of other Gryffindor boys snogging ran through his head and he blushed, choking on the hot soup. What he wouldn't give to be in that damned Tonks's place beside Remus at that moment. That was where they both belonged.


	2. Chapter 2

All right, just to make this clear, mostly everything is canon. HOWEVER, in my version Remus and Tonks started dating 2 months ago, and are obviously not married and are alive. Because what would be the use of Sirius coming back if they were married or dead? None, I say.

Anyways. On to the story.

Remus POV

It had been two years, and Remus still couldn't get rid of the feeling in his stomach. It wasn't like being sick, because the feeling of emptiness was much worse than any flu or virus he had ever had. And it wasn't just heartbreak; he knew what that felt when rumors of a traitor were being whispered, and when doubt and mistrust had filled the tiny flat Sirius and he had shared all those years ago. It was something more. And he couldn't get rid of the feeling that somebody had punched him in the stomach every morning when he woke up and every night when he went to bed. He couldn't get rid of the feeling of loneliness when he cuddled his pillow at night, pretending it was Sirius. But no pillow could ever fool Remus into thinking Sirius was here. Because Sirius was never coming back. And that was what hurt most of all.

Remus rolled over, the bright sunlight poring through his tattered blinds. He awoke, and that same feeling washed through him as he remembered that Sirius wasn't there to make his nightmares go away. He threw off his covers, shivering as his bare skin met the cool air. After putting on his red slippers, he padded into the tiny kitchen to start his tea. After he put the kettle on the stove, he opened his wardrobe to find something to wear to the Order meeting that day. He sighed and looked at the navy jumper Sirius had bought him the Christmas before… Remus couldn't bear to say it, even in his head. Stroking the thick material, he thought of Sirius's grey eyes, and his soft hair that smelled of cinnamon and sandalwood and something he could never place. He took Sirius's dark button down and buried his face in it. The feeling of a knife twisting in his stomach hit him when he inhaled Sirius's scent that still lingered on the worn cotton. The sound of a whistling kettle sounded, and he reluctantly went to pour his morning tea.

After washing and dressing in the jumper and a pair of grey slacks, Remus apparated to Tonks's flat to escort her to the Order meeting. When he arrived with a crack at her doorstep, she immediately threw open the door and smiled up at him, her hair a violent shade of fuchsia. When Remus looked in her eyes, he remembered the only reason he even agreed to go out with her.

*Flashback* [Two Months Earlier]

Remus entered Grimmauld Place, his hair falling in his eyes and wet from the rain. After taking off his shabby brown coat and hanging it up, he went to walk forward, but was blocked by a blue-haired Tonks. "Oi, Remus!" she exclaimed, waving energetically at him. He returned a weak smile, and continued towards the kitchen, before being blocked by her tiny frame once again. "I was wondering… well, there's a new shop opening in Hogsmeade, and I wanted to go, but I'd like to go with you, I mean, if you don't want to, that's fine, but I thought you'd like it and…" she continued rambling, avoiding Remus's incredulous stare. When she finally looked him in the eyes, he gasped. She had the same piercing grey eyes that Sirius had.

As she continued rambling about Hogsmeade and the Order and who knew what else, Remus continued looking at her. Yes, she had the same eyes as him, the same small nose when she wasn't distorting it for her own amusement, and she even had the same long-fingered hands Sirius had. He had never thought about it before, but she was a bit like a female version of Sirius, wild and unorthodox and full of life. Reaching a decision and realizing his mini-epiphany, he stopped her long-winded speech and quietly said "Yes, of course I'll go with you to the new shop. What was it called again?" He felt a pang of guilt as he watched Tonks's blue hair turn the brightest pink and watched her with a small smile as she began talking about whatever shop they were going to go to. But she would do. Because when Remus looked into her eyes, he remembered Sirius gazing at him in the same loving manner Tonks was right now.

*End Flashback*

Remus had felt bad about leading Tonks along, because he didn't love her, not really. She was fun and a good companion and a wonderful person, but he didn't love her the same way she loved him. But he was selfish. Whenever he tried to end it, her grey eyes always stopped him. His eyes always stopped him. It was too easy to pretend that it was Sirius's eyes staring at him when they held hands, or that it was Sirius's eyes raking over his body. So he wouldn't end it, not yet. He could be selfish for a while more.

After the pair apparated to the grubby sidewalk running outside Number 12 Grimmauld Place and entered, Remus saw that Molly Weasley was starting the first preparations for what looked to be onion soup, bless her heart. Tonks grinned eagerly up at Remus and gave him a peck on the cheek. The show of affection reminded him that he had to end his relationship with Tonks soon before she got hurt even more. After they greeted Mrs. Weasley, he watched as Tonks hurried toward the pot, knocking over a jar of spice in her eagerness. Remus chuckled as he leaned against the table and watched Molly try to persuade Tonks that she didn't need any help in the dinner preparations. Tonks returned to Remus with a pout on her face, but she brightened as Remus smiled down at her. Remus's eyes drifted towards the room that held Sirius's mother's portrait as Tonks began discussing how ridiculous the work schedules were for the Order. His thoughts were interrupted by Molly, who called out "Everyone come down here for supper! It's soup for tonight!" Remus looked back at Tonks and Mrs. Weasley and waited for the dinner to be served. But he turned around so quickly he cricked his neck when he heard a whisper coming from the hallway.

"Oh… Oh my god, it's Sirius!" he heard Ginny gasp, and he followed her gaze to Sirius Black, standing in the hallway. A wave of shock ran through him as he looked at the grey eyes he had hungered for, at the black silky hair he had fantasized many a night of running his fingers through. Surely, this had to be a dream. Sirius had died; he had seen him fall through the curtain. Even as he thought this, he froze, staring at Sirius's pink lips as Harry ran to embrace his godfather, and Remus felt an overwhelming urge to join him. Remus became very aware at his hand that was being held with a vice like grip by Tonks, and felt an overwhelming feeling of remorse as Sirius's eyes froze as he looked at the entwined hands. He heard people talking, but it sounded no more than a faint buzzing. He stared at Sirius, re-memorizing every hair, every freckle, every tiny detail that was Sirius. As everybody trouped into the kitchen, he noticed that Sirius avoided his eyes. It's not like he could blame him. He was a selfish pig and he deserved being ignored. But Remus still couldn't help stare as Sirius gulped down the onion soup Molly had prepared, completely ignoring his own bowl.

"Isn't that right, Remus?" Mrs. Weasley asked, awakening him from his stupor as she ladled more of the brown soup into Sirius's empty bowl.

"Er, I'm sorry Molly. I didn't hear you", he muttered, turning a shade of red as she chuckled.

"That's all right, dear. I was just telling Sirius about the Final Battle and everything leading up to it. What did they do with... His... body anyways?" She asked, whispering the last part.

"I believed they burned it." Remus answered, watching as Sirius continued staring down at his now half empty bowl, "At least, I think they did. I'm sure they wouldn't have a funeral service for Him." Everyone at the table laughed, except for Sirius, who was pointedly ignoring his every word.

After making sure that everybody had multiple servings of soup and slices of bread, Mrs. Weasley excused the children from the table. "Off to bed with you lot. And that means you too, George!" she glared at the offending boy, who grinned sheepishly from the corner from where he was hiding what looked to be a cardboard box. After they retreated up the stairs, Tonks gave Remus a quick kiss before leaving to apparate from the doorway, earning a scowl from Sirius. Remus gave a half-hearted wave, and then collapsed in his chair, his head resting on his arms folded underneath. After a while, he groaned to himself and looked up to find Sirius glaring down at him, his sharp eyes searching his face.

"So." He said sharply, "You and Tonks, huh?" Remus blinked, looking up at Sirius's glowering face. He wanted to tell Sirius everything. But it wasn't exactly believable, was it? That he was with Tonks only because he knew he had to try to move on, but couldn't. That he had cried himself to sleep every night Sirius wasn't there. It was hard enough when Sirius had been wrongly convicted of murdering James and Lily and carted off to Azkaban, but for him to know that Sirius would never come back to him? It was unbearable. And Tonks was the one living reminder of Sirius. He knew it was wrong, but he had tried to hold onto anything, everything that reminded him of Sirius. And now look where it got him. Bloody idiot.

He cleared his throat before answering. "Kind… kind of." He muttered, watching as his former lover grunted and returned to his last bit of soup. Nobody spoke until after Sirius washed out his bowl and spoon and turned around to face him. Remus gasped. If looks could kill, he would be more doomed than anybody attempting to handle one of Hagrid's full grown cross-breed creations, otherwise known as skrewts. And then, just like that, Sirius's face changed to look of cold indifference as he shrugged at him.

"Fine." Sirius said smoothly, in a very Black-esque manner, "Well, I'm glad you've found a way to, ehm, occupy yourself, instead of waiting for me." And with that, he left the old kitchen and went up the crooked staircase to his bedroom, leaving Remus to collapse on the worn wooden table.

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Whoo! Another chapter completed! :D

I'm having a bit of a writer's block, and school's starting soon [registration is tomorrow! gah!] so I may not update for a few days.

Yeah, picture day is tomorrow, and I'm up until 11:00 writing this chapter so I won't leave you high and dry. HAHA who am I kidding, nobody's reading my story! xD

So I left you with this because I have no clue where this story is going to go. Well, I have a bit of a clue, but it's still in the refining process.

I haven't gotten any comments yet, but I have gotten a couple of followers for the story. I really appreciate any feeback / comments / critiques!

This is my first ever fanfiction, so I'd love any input. *wink wink*

Anyways. Thanks for reading, and sorry for whoring myself out for comments. I'd just love some! Even if you hate it! :D


	3. Chapter 3

Yay another chapter at last(:

My only excuse is that I had a SEVERE case of writer's block. Meh.

That being said, I'm actually disappointed in myself on this chapter. I don't know why, but I am. :C

Good news is that I have a small start on the next chapter, so it should be up in a couple of days. Don't kill me if it's more than that though.

Enough rambling. On to the story!

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Sirius POV

"Fine." Sirius said, despising himself for using the tone of voice his mother had always used to him, "Well, I'm glad you've found a way to, ehm, occupy yourself, instead of waiting for me." He stormed out of the kitchen, not glancing back at Remus for fear that he would run back and succumb to the overwhelming urge to kiss his freckled nose and copper hair. But those days were over now. Remus had deserted him, left him. He had been gone for two years, and this was how he was repayed? To see his own cousin kissing him? He had been in Azkaban for 13 bloody years, and after only two Remus had given up on him? He should be furious at Remus, hate him even. So why did he feel like running back downstairs after he arrived in the familiar, dusty room he had resided in during his childhood, rather than not care?

Sirius awoke with a groan the next morning. After contemplating lying in bed all day and refusing any human contact, he decided that it'd be better to just go outside and face everyone. Then everybody wouldn't be asking what was wrong with him, and he wouldn't have to lie and say that, yes, he was fine. No, he's not upset about something. Because that would be one of the biggest lies he'd ever told. Well, either that or the time in 6th year when he and James had sworn they'd seen Snivellus and Madam Pince snogging in the restricted section of the library. While hilarious to see the look on the twat's face the next morning at breakfast when the rumors were relayed to him, it was utter rubbish. Everybody knew Filch and Madam Pince were in an ongoing affair. Well, everybody suspected anyway.

Sirius pulled on his terry cloth robe and sighed, trying to clear his thoughts, anticipating a light breakfast of eggs and toast to start off the long day. What he didn't expect was running smack into Remus's back half way down the stairs.

Remus POV

Remus spun around quickly, preparing to tell off the idiot who made him lose his balance and almost fall down the staircase. But he stopped when he saw Sirius staring at him, lips formed in a perfect o. It might have been comical if it weren't so awkward. "Sorry", he mumbled, and then walked down the length of stairs left to go down to the kitchen. Remus shivered; the spot where Sirius had collided with his back still tingled from the physical contact. Gods, he was pathetic.

Remus entered the kitchen to find that nobody was up at the early hour besides Sirius and himself. Perfect. Remus watched as Sirius moved with unconscious poise while preparing tea and frying eggs in the skillet. He stared, transfixed as Sirius hummed a tune under his breath and flipped his eggs off the pan and onto one of the fancy china plates. Remus chuckled, sure that the late Mrs. Black wouldn't have approved of her son's casual treatment of the fine dinnerware. Sirius looked up quickly, blinking before he turned back around and whipped out his toast with a flourish and proceeded to charm the dishes to clean themselves.

Staring down at his plate for a few seconds before acknowledging Remus, Sirius finally looked into his eyes. "So, what d'you reckon you're doing today?" Sirius murmured, nibbling on the corner of the slightly burnt toast in hand. Remus stared as Sirius set down the toast on his plate and looked up at Remus with a curious expression.

"Well," he started, noting Sirius's eyes following his every move, "I don't have any Order duties for about three days, so I thought I'd stay here until then. Apparently, the Death Eaters found out where my old flat was, so I can't go back there." Sirius nodded, cutting into the perfectly fried egg and dipping his toast into the yolk. As Remus wondered what to say next, a dark brown owl swooped into the kitchen and dropped a bundle on the wooden table in front of him. He opened it, finding his weekly copy of the Quibbler as well as a letter from Kingsley Shacklebolt. He picked up his wand and muttered a charm at the wax seal; only people in the Order knew about it to ensure that nobody, mainly Death Eaters, could intercept mail. Remus unfolded the parchment and read the contents before stuffing it back into the envelope and reaching into a cupboard to give the large bird an owl treat.

Remus turned around to find Sirius staring interestingly up at him. "Not to be rude, but what's that?" Sirius asked frowning, his lips pouting out slightly. Remus looked down at him, trying to answer but unable to look away from his pink lips.

He smiled slightly before answering." Kingsley was just confirming that I'm to stay here until the next raid on a suspected Death Eater headquarters."

Remus watched as Sirius's frown deepened. "I thought you were working undercover?"

"I was." Remus replied, drawing up a chair, "But they don't exactly need me anymore, not for the purposes they used to anyway. Greyback's dead." He said the last part as an answer to Sirius's cocked head. "Most of the werewolves only went along with Voldemort's plan because of him, so now they don't need any convincing. Some haven't given up, I imagine. But they already know I'm not on their side after I fought against them in the Final Battle." Remus gazed at Sirius as he fiddled with the tie on his navy robe. Why was Sirius being even slightly civil to him? If Remus was in his shoes, he knew he wouldn't be able to control his anger towards Sirius. Then again, maybe Sirius had stopped caring about him after his discovery, so he just didn't care. A pinching started behind the bridge of his nose and he turned away. He wouldn't cry over him. Not again.

A thundering of feet came from the direction of the stairs, and Remus and Sirius spun around in their seats to see George and Ron Weasley racing down the stairs clad in pajama pants and wife beaters. The older Weasley overtook Ron at the last minute and skidded to a halt on the emerald rug in the drawing room. Ron cursed under his breath as George punched him in the ribs and took off for the kitchen. Soon after that, Hermione and Ginny came down the stairs, telling the two off for making so much noise in the early morning before Harry came down. Remus watched as Harry grinned at Ginny when she gave him a kiss on the cheek and they set off with the rest to wait for Mrs. Weasley to come down to make them the usual Sunday breakfast. Harry and Ginny reminded him so very much of James and Lily; besides the physical similarities, he recognized the pure love in both of their eyes when they looked at each other. They were a little young, true, but they were older than he was when he found his first and only true love.

*Flashback*

Remus paced across the thick golden rug in the empty Gryffindor common room. But he didn't feel like a Gryffindor, quite the opposite really. He was a coward. He knew Sirius was bisexual; who didn't after the now infamous scene in their 6th year in the Great Hall involving Sirius Black, a very angry Robin Canfield, and Hector Davies? But he still couldn't tell him that he was gay, let alone that he fancied him. He didn't know what to say. "Hey Sirius! Listen, I've got great news! I'm gay and have been in love with you for the past three years!" No matter how he tried to phrase it, he knew it would be useless. Sirius would never feel the same way. Why would he? Sirius wasn't perfect, that much was apparent to Remus. But, in all his imperfections, he was perfect. The vanity he so rightly deserved, his tortured soul, all the things that made him imperfect made him Sirius. And besides, it would ruin their friendship if he even told him about how he felt. Nothing would be the same again. They would never be the same. He would rather just be friends and get to talk with him rather than be distant. So Remus paced back and forth in the common, slowly but surely wearing a hole in the carpet.

*End Flashback*

Remus sighed as he sipped his lukewarm tea. He was a coward then and he was a coward now, he realized. Even then, he couldn't bear to tell him how he really felt, and now was just the same, if not worse. Sirius had only known because Lily told him; after prodding Remus as to what was wrong with him, he finally confessed all his woes to her and she had comforted him. She had known Sirius felt the same way; girl instincts, he supposed. How in the bloody hell their minds worked he would never know. But talks with Lily led to good results, so he couldn't complain. The rest of that year was bliss. Absolute, wonderful, pure bliss. Remus set down the now disgusting tea and sighed. Fuck he missed Sirius.

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So.. what do you think? Love it? Hate it? Or are you as lukewarm as poor Moony's tea?

Wow, that made no sense. What I'm TRYING to say is that I'd love some reviews :D

Thanks SO much to fish'n'chips08 for the lovely review. It means so much to me


	4. Chapter 4

Before you read, this is extremely short, and for this I'm sorry. I whipped it out at 2 in the morning after a night of insomnia, but I actually kind of like it. (:

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Sirius POV

Sirius looked around his bedroom Monday afternoon, a huff of disapproval escaping his mouth. It looked like someone had ransacked his room searching for something. He decided that he should clean it out now that the house was mostly empty. The members of the Order were now either on missions or at work, George was at the joke shop working, while Harry and Ron were at Auror training. Kingsley had said there was no need to enroll in the training classes, but Harry had told Sirius that he felt like he could learn something more. Sirius rolled his eyes absentmindedly as he sorted some old papers into a cardboard box. Only his godson would want to do more Auror training after defeating Voldemort himself. After sorting through what must be pounds of papers underneath the unused desk that was supposed to be used for schoolwork during his school days, he came upon an old letter, from Remus. Sirius fingered the unopened envelope, tracing the familiar script across the front. What was this? Why hadn't he opened it, especially if it was from Remus? Sirius easily opened the seal on the back and read the whole thing, eyes hungrily reading the passage at a rapid rate.

June 16th, 1975

Dear Sirius,

This summer has gone far too long without you. Gods, how cliché does that sound? But it's absolutely true. I can't help thinking about you everywhere I go, no matter where I am. I can't help thinking about which types of sweets you'd like when I go to visit the local muggle shop in town. I can't help but think about you and that ridiculous motorbike when I see those stupid glossy magazines they have on the stands. I can't help but think about Padfoot when I see any stray dogs roaming the streets. But most of all, I can't help but think about how cold I feel without you walking beside me. About how I miss your hands holding mine, and your sweet smelling hair and just, you. I miss you so much it hurts. I miss feeling at home in your arms, and I miss kissing you and laughing with you. And frankly, I just don't see how I'm going to survive another month and a half without you here. I miss you, Sirius. I love you.

- Remus

Sirius felt a tear roll down his cheek as he re-read the last short sentence to himself over and over. I love you. I love you. I love you. He couldn't stop himself from staring at where Remus's very hand had written those words all those years ago. I love you. Sirius whimpered as he slowly lowered himself on the thick carpet beneath him. "I love you, Remus." He breathed before staring under the dark abyss beneath his bed, thinking of years ago when everything had been so perfect. God, he loved Remus. He loved him so much it hurt.

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I must say, I love the letter. I know the end was kind of cliché-y, but oh well. I like it.

I have another 3 paragraphs done on the next chapter, so be expecting an update in the next couple of days. Oh yeah, and I'm kind of writing each of my chapter inspired by a different song. This one was If My Heart Was a House by Owl City. I love that song, and I think it's perfect for these two(:


	5. Chapter 5

I have a wicked sun burn, so the first day of school sucked. Except for Spanish, which was in fact awesome.

Anyways, here's the next chapter. I had an idea for the ending, but I'm going to hold off the ending for another 'week' or so in the story. Hehe.

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Remus POV

Remus walked up to the drawing room upstairs Monday afternoon and sat down at an old walnut desk surrounded by dusty bookshelves. Molly had taken both Ginny and Hermione to Diagon Alley for some shopping, leaving the house alone except for him and Sirius. He pulled out a bit of parchment that was lying to one side and found a quill and a bottle of indigo ink behind an old celestial globe. Remus began doodling on the parchment distractedly, a favorite pastime of his when his head was too clouded with thoughts to read. After a while, he looked down and peered at the roughly scratched lines, frowning. Why in the world had he drawn a pair of eyes? He heard a series of loud thuds before a worn-out looking Sirius entered the room, collapsing on a nearby leather sofa, groaning loudly all the while. Sirius closed his eyes and rested his head on an emerald throw pillow. Remus stared at him. Even though he could never compare to his Hogwarts days, there was no denying that Sirius Black was beautiful. Soft rays of sunlight threw his frowning face into relief, and Remus watched as Sirius opened his eyes, his brows furrowed when he saw him sitting there. "Blimey, when'd you get here?" he said, stretching a bit before looking at him interestingly. Remus looked down at the doodled eyes, and then at Sirius's. Oh no. He was doodling Sirius's eyes.

He groaned inwardly before answering. "I've been up here for a few minutes, I suppose. I like it up here; sometimes I come up when I need to think about things."

Sirius nodded. "Same with me." He said, lying back and resting his feet on the arm of the couch. Sirius's long fringe hung in his face as his head lolled off the sofa and looked at him upside down. Remus folded the embarrassing drawing and continued staring into the two pools of silver below him.

Sirius POV

Sirius gulped as Remus's expression softened when he saw that he was smiling. Why did his cheeks have to be so pink and his lips so delectable? If it were up to him, he'd ravage him in a heartbeat. But it was too late; Remus had moved on, that much was apparent, no matter how much it pained him to realize it. And thanks to his little episode in the kitchen upon his arrival, he doubted Remus wanted anything to do with him. He looked at Remus's small smile, thinking of the opened letter sitting on his bed. Why couldn't he have some damn happiness once in a while? You'd think, that after escaping Azkaban after thirteen years of wrongful imprisonment, and fighting dementors and Death Eaters and who knew what else, that he'd be entitled to a bit of relief, especially with the war over. But then again, Remus deserved happiness even more. He gazed at Remus's upside down face, watching as he folded a bit of parchment and looked down at him. He was hypnotized by his golden eyes. It was like drowning in a giant pot of honey, but much sweeter, richer.

"Moony…" he began, before swallowing a lump in his throat, "Moony, I'm sorry I acted the way I did when I first got back. I just- I just couldn't think of anyone else being with you, and I was selfish. You deserve happiness; especially after all you've been through. And if that means you being with Tonks, then fine. Because if she makes you happy, then that's fine with me." Sirius was lying through his teeth, but he tried to make the tone light. Of course he minded if Remus and Tonks were – he shuddered at the thought –snogging. But Remus did deserve happiness, even if it was with his annoying cousin. Sirius rubbed his temples with the tips of his fingers. Stupid jealousy. He had always gotten along well with his cousin, especially compared to the rest of his insane family. But ever since he had seen her peck Remus on the cheek, he had proceeded to loathe her with a deep and fiery passion.

Remus POV

Remus felt a tingle of pleasure at being called his old nickname. Moony. He hadn't heard that for years, and warmth spread through him before being replaced with a numb cold.

Sirius's words echoed through Remus's hollow-feeling skull. "_Because if she makes you happy, then that's fine with me." _He knew it. He had ruined everything. Sirius had cared about him, and he had gone and messed it up. Remus laughed at himself, the irony overwhelming him. How could Sirius not see? How could he not see that Sirius was all he wanted, was all that he needed? Sirius was the only person who could make him truly happy. Remus had to control himself from launching himself across the small gap between them and kiss Sirius ferociously. Why couldn't Sirius see what was so obvious to him? He tried to speak, to say anything, but his lips failed to comply, and instead hung open. A bang issued from the stairs and Remus watched as a slender figure fled from the doorway. It was Tonks.

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Yes, I know. It's short, but it's a bridge, alright? Haah.

Partly inspired by The Lining is Silver by Relient K. For indeed the lining is silver in this situation…. *wink wink*

Thanks to the power of a million to HSC swimmer for the two AWESOME comments!

Your reviews complete my sad life, so I guess we're even(:


	6. Chapter 6

Please excuse the ridiculous shortness.

School blows. That is all.

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Remus POV

Remus saw a flash of red hair whip around the base of the staircase when he chased after Tonks down the staircase. He gulped while searching for her. Red hair was never a good sign.

He found her in the drawing room huddled by the fireplace, a dejected look on her petite features. "Dora?" he asked softly, looking down at her with concern. How much had she heard? And then she opened her mouth, words coming out strangled through her lips.

"I… I always knew something was off." She whispered, looking up at Remus with her wide grey eyes, "But I ignored it. The way you looked at Sirius when he came back- the way you still look at him…"she shook her head, her hair slowly fading red and turning lighter. Remus looked at her, crouching down to talk to her.

"I…I just… Dora, you must understand…" He stuttered, trying to offer her comfort, not knowing what she wanted him to say.

"Hush," she sighed, looking at the cold stone floor, "I know. I knew. I saw the letter. I just… couldn't bring myself to let you go." Remus stared at her, remembering the night when Sirius came back, and the way her hands had gripped his so tightly, "I couldn't bring myself to stop being with you, Remus." She smiled at him, gazing into his amber eyes. Remus swallowed, feeling the atmosphere tense at the awkwardness of where the conversation was going. "But now I know, instead of just fear."She smiled up kindly at him, her hair a slight shade of purple. "Now I know."

Remus felt her presence leave as she left the old house, staring into the dying fire in the grate. He missed her, he really did. But as a friend, he thought as he watched the last flames flicker out and turn into smoky ashes. There was really no love, or passion, just… companionship. There was never a fire to put out. Just ashes of what could have been.

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Lame, I know. Ah well. Some things to figure out, at least…

HOW will Sirius react to this new development??

WHO is the new man interested in Tonks??

WHY am I writing in capital letters??

WE MAY NEVER KNOW.

Actually, you will know. In a few days or so. *laughs evilly*


	7. Chapter 7

Sirius POV

Sirius knelt on the cold stone floor, listening intently to the conversation happening in the other room.

"I… I always knew something was off." He heard Tonks whisper, "But I ignored it. The way you looked at Sirius when he came back- the way you still look at him…" She trailed off, leaving Sirius gasping for breath. Warmth flooded his chest, despite his brain's urges to stop. He had always hoped… he had always dreamed, ever since his arrival, but he never imagined that Remus could ever still love him. He'd faced the truth that he would never be with him again. It hurt so much, but it was better than being rejected by him. But now…

"I…I just… Dora, you must understand…" he heard Remus whisper, and Sirius felt his brows knit together when he frowned. What was that all about? Tonks started to speak again.

"Hush," he heard her mutter, "I know. I knew. I saw the letter. I just… couldn't bring myself to let you go." What the hell? Oh god. She'd found the letter from Moony from all those years ago on his bed. He sighed. Fucking idiot. Sirius's brain buzzed with the new information given to him unknowingly by Tonks. His spine tingled as he thought of what could have been, and what could still be possible. He heard a door close softly, and he slowly peeked around the foot of the stairs into the drawing room. Remus sat there, staring into the dying fire. His face looked so sad, so empty. But Sirius saw the corner of his mouth slightly drawn up, and Sirius gazed at him. Remus was… smiling. A very small, slight smile, of course, but he was in fact smiling. Sirius rested his head on the wall and sighed quietly, a smile stretched over his lips as sleep overcame him.

Remus POV

Remus looked up as a small ray of sunlight peeked through the grey clouds and into the room. He must have fallen asleep after Tonks left, he thought as he raised himself up from the scratchy rug he had been resting on previously. He stretched and yawned as he stood up. Ugh, his mouth was dry. He walked over to the stairs to brush his teeth, tripping over the sleeping figure sprawled there. "What the-" he massaged the place on his head that had hit the wall when he tripped and looked down at the large black dog curled up there. He sighed and picked him up. Sirius had been known in school to spontaneously transform in his sleep, and according to him, it depended on which dream he was having to whether he transformed or not. In fact, there had been many a night where they had to explain to McGonagall why there was a sleeping dog in the common room. "Lousy git," Remus thought, before smiling at the memories and setting the dog down on his bed in his scarlet-clad bedroom. He watched Padfoot for a moment as his legs twitched in his sleep and sat down in a padded desk chair by the bed. His eyelids drooped wearily, and Remus smiled before closing his eyes. A bit of a rest wouldn't hurt.

Sirius POV

Sirius awoke tangled in his crimson sheets. When had he gotten here? He stretched before smacking his lips and opening his now rested eyes. Remus was slumped over on his old chair nearby, his head resting on the edge of his bed. He watched Remus as his lips twitched in his sleep. He had done this many times before, when… Sirius cleared his head, blushing as memories rushed back to him. Many of his nights had been spent watching Remus sleep. Sleep was the only time when Remus was truly relaxed, and the lines around his eyes disappeared, and the faint creases on his forehead were smoothed away. "Worry lines," Sirius thought, and watched sadly as Remus breathed in and out slowly, watching his eye-length fringe being blown away from his face every time he exhaled. Sleep was also the only time when he could truly appreciate his beauty. Sirius gazed at each tiny freckle on his nose and cheeks, the slight stubble that was showing in the early morning, and drank it all in as quickly as possible. This was the closest he had been to Remus all week. "For two years, to Remus" he thought as he continued sleeping. He was so close that he could smell the shampoo that still clung to his hair. He breathed in, smiling as the familiar, clean smell reached him. He was so close to him, their noses almost touched. So close he could kiss him. Sirius stared at Remus's upturned lips, and then stopped. It was too soon. So Sirius lay content on his bed, watching as Remus dreamt the morning away.

Molly POV

Molly went upstairs to wake Remus for breakfast. Despite the days he had been staying at Grimmauld Place, he still looked too skinny for her liking. She waited outside the bedroom he was staying in and knocked softly on the painted wooden door. "Remus?" she asked, knocking again. Still no answer. She turned the aged brass doorknob and slowly opened the door, looking inside. His bed wasn't slept in, she saw. Molly frowned, going up the stairs that lead to Sirius's room. Maybe he knew where Remus was.

She knocked softly on Sirius's door warily. He was still having a bad time coping with returning when everything changed and he needed his rest, the poor dear. She peeked inside and smiled widely. Remus was sleeping, his head and arms rested on Sirius's bed as he slumped in a chair he must have been previously sitting in. Molly gasped as she saw Sirius gazing at Remus sleeping, a look so tender, so full of love on his face that it made her eyes tear up. She gave a watery smile and closed the door softly behind her, leaning on the closed door, sobbing softly. They were so perfect for each other, it was breathtaking.

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Yes, so I was having a really hard time deciding if Sirius should kiss him or not, so I hope you like what I chose to do.

So, I had the most random song stuck in my head that is so old, but I was inspired by it. Sort of.

I still have no idea why it's in my head, but I'm not going to tell you what it is. WAY too embarrassing.

To Cree: Thanks for the review love! And to your question about Fred, yes, he did die. And I was having a bit of a battle with myself about talking about George's coping with Fred, but you're right in the fact that this is mainly about Sirius/Remus. I tried to mention other topics, though… [Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny, etc.] Sorry if I disappointed, but maybe another story (;


	8. Chapter 8

Remus POV

At first, Remus was sure it was a dream. Sunlight softly filtered through grey blinds and onto the soft bed he was resting on. Remus shut his eyes tightly, slightly hyperventilating. He was on Sirius's bed. Lying on Sirius Black's bed. In Sirius Black's muscular arms. It was a dream, he was sure of it. He slowly raised his hand from underneath him and pinched himself, hard. While he now had an angry red spot where he pinched his arm, he did not wake up from the miraculous image he was sure was a dream. So Remus sighed happily and snuggled closer to Sirius. Strictly for warmth purposes, of course.

Sirius POV

Sirius woke hesitantly, warmer than usual. He sighed and stretched. He was having a lovely dream about none other than Remus and was quite annoyed to be awoken by a faint knock on the door. Sirius rubbed at his eyes sleepily, "All right, one moment you lot." He grumbled before sitting up. But a weight prevented him, and he looked down to see none other than Remus Lupin looking up at him and blinking sleepily in the sunlight. "Hello Moonshine." He beamed widely as Remus groaned at the old nickname.

"Padfoot, don't call me that." Remus whined, punching him lightly on the shoulder. Sirius couldn't help but admire how pathetically soft the blow was, and told him so. Remus scowled before blowing the black fringe lying over Sirius's forehead. Sirius always hated that; he supposed it was because of his dog animagus. It was his turn to scowl then, and he blew Remus's fairly long hair out of his eyes. Remus narrowed his amber eyes and hit Sirius over the head with one of the feather pillows lying on the bed. The next thing they knew, a pillow fight had broken out, and white feathers were floating in the air like delicate snowflakes, landing on the two men roaring with laughter and rolling around on the bed. After all the stuffing had flown out of the beaten pillows and into the air they continued wrestling, tossing and turning until Remus finally had Sirius pinned beneath him. Sirius grinned up into the eyes that were reflecting a golden tint, and gave a booming laugh. Remus laughed in triumph, his eyes wide and awake until he stopped laughing and looked down into Sirius's eyes. They stayed like this for how long, Sirius didn't know, and he really didn't care. Remus, still panting from laughter, continued staring at him, but suddenly his expression softened. Anticipation grew in the pit of Sirius's stomach, and their faces slowly grew closer. Sirius hesitantly reached towards Remus's face until he couldn't take it any more. The need for him was too great. He reached up to put both his hand on the side of Remus's face, and captured his lips with his. Unspoken words were verbalized with lips moving on the other, and soon the gentle kiss became more frantic, and moved in pace. Tongues slipped out into familiar territory, and Sirius's hands roamed pleasantly over Remus's back and sides. He had missed Remus so much. It was a wonder that one being could have this affect on Sirius Black, the infamous cold shouldered heartthrob of Hogwarts. Sirius snorted internally at the thought, and focused once again on Moony. His Moony, once again.

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All right, everyone together now- AWW!

I kind of like this, but I'm not sure if I portrayed it quite how I wanted to. The scene is absolutely adorable in my head, though. Just so you know.

I took a quick break to write a short story, you should check it out if you like this… *wink*

Anyways…

Hehe. So yeah. My first fanfiction, and my first ever semi- smut scene. Eek.

So… should I stop here?? I might carry this on for a while more and include Tonks's happy ending, or just end it here. Tell me what you thiiink! (:


	9. Chapter 9

Remus POV

It was surreal. Once again, he woke up in Sirius's arms. Cold nostalgia chilled him to the bone as he remembered back before the Department of Mysteries and after Sirius escaped Azkaban.

*Flasback*

Remus was lying awake in his bed, staring at the stars through the open window. A cold breeze blew in and he shivered but didn't get under the covers. He just lay there, watching the twinkling stars above that reminded him so much of Sirius's bright eyes. He missed having his arms around him, and felt guilty. He knew that he should hate Sirius, but he could never quite accept that Sirius had really betrayed Lily and James. He knew that he couldn't have; James was more of a brother to him than his own brother, and they were his family. Sirius looked around the bare room. He still did the same things as when Sirius was here; he still made the tea that Sirius always said tasted too strongly of licorice, he still watched the sky turn blue in the morning, but it wasn't the same without him. It took two to whisper quietly as he watched the sun set, and loneliness washed through him. He could deal with the silence to a point in the tiny flat, but he felt most sad when he looked down at his hands, and he remembered how Sirius's fingers fit so perfectly with his. He hadn't slept for days, thinking of happy days in Hogwarts, lounging around the sunny grounds where there was nothing to do except stare at each other and enjoy the warmth. So drenched in moonlight, Remus though of Sirius. Because when he thought of him, he didn't feel so alone.

*End Flashback*

Remus snuggled happily in Sirius's arms and breathed in the scent of cinnamon and sandalwood, so much stronger than it had been on his dark button down that he had secretly smelled when he felt too alone. He felt so at home with him again. It was safe to say that his days would be infinitely brighter with Sirius by his side.

Harry POV

Harry knocked softly on the green door before him. "Sirius?" he whispered, listening intently for a reply. A sound came from inside, and Harry heard his godfather mumble incoherently. He shrugged and went downstairs for some coffee and toast so Sirius could get some rest. "And," he thought, "Ginny will probably be down stairs by now." Harry quickened his pace to see the only girl he had loved.

Harry walked into the kitchen to see Hermione and Ron snogging vigorously on the couch. He knew they fancied each other, maybe even loved, but it was still weird walking in on them alone. "Ehm ehm." He heard a cough that sounded remarkably like that bat Umbridge's, and Ron and Hermione instantly whipped themselves upright, staring at the source of the noise. Ginny snickered as Harry enfolded her in a hug and held her close.

"Thanks for that," Harry grinned as he looked at Ginny's face. She was so beautiful, it was a wonder she didn't know it. He captured her lips in his for a kiss, pulling back as he remembered that Ron was still sitting nearby. He flushed as he looked at Ron apologetically, who was looking away pointedly. Harry grinned thankfully and took Ginny's hand in his to go to the kitchen to make some coffee and maybe have a quick snog, completely forgetting about Sirius.

A bang issued from the hallway and Harry stood up quickly, staring at Ginny with wide eyes as she set down her cup of coffee slowly. Nobody was supposed to come to Headquarters this early. Harry took his wand out of his jeans and walked through the doorway slowly, looking for the source of noise. He breathed out a sigh of relief as he recognized who was in the hallway.

"Oh bugger," Tonks moaned, looking at the awful troll leg umbrella stand, "That must be the hundredth time I've knocked that thing over. Oh, hello Harry!" She grinned at him from the hall where she was trying to right the stand again, no easy feat, considering the thing probably weighed a hundred pounds. He caught a glimpse of her bright hair as she bent over, struggling to lift the umbrella stand still.

A low chuckle issued from the foyer, and somebody stepped forward from the shadows. "Let me help you with that." A brawny, red-haired Charlie Weasley easily righted the huge object and grinned down at Tonks. "Need more muscles, love."

Tonks stuck her tongue out at him and then laughed. "Well, there's no competing with you. You handle dragons for god's sake." Charlie rolled his eyes and laughed, walking into the living room where Ron and Hermione were talking to each other quietly, Hermione laughing occasionally. Charlie wolf whistled and Ron looked up quickly, a deep scarlet blush crawling up his neck and into his face.

"Looks like Ronnie's finally got himself a girl!" Charlie laughed and grinned lopsidedly down at Hermione, her cheeks starting to turn pink. Ron flustered, his face steadily growing the shade of a tomato.

"Well, it's better than you!" Ron uttered, standing to glare down at his brother. But while Ron was about three inches taller than him, Charlie was heavily muscled, and he narrowed his eyes threateningly. Ron seemed to remember this, because then he slowly sat down and looked at Hermione, grinning sheepishly. Charlie raised his eyebrow and smiled at Tonks, who was busy laughing at Ron. Harry looked back and forth between Charlie and Tonks, realization hitting him. Charlie looked at Harry and waggled his eyebrows mischievously, his grin spreading from ear to ear. Hermione gasped and smiled widely at Tonks, whose hand was now twined with Charlie's. Ron gawked at Charlie for a minute before roaring in laughter. But Ron was saved a beating from Charlie because just then, Molly Weasley entered the drawing room, muttering to no one in particular.

"Yes, we'll need about eight potatoes for dinner tonight, nine if Ronald wants seconds. So we'll have nine potatoes and three bundles of asparagus." Molly smiled to herself before looking up and gasping as she saw Charlie, and her mouth widened even more when she saw their clasped hands. "Oh… oh Charlie!" She dropped the laundry basket she was carrying and went to hug him. Harry saw Mrs. Weasley wipe her eyes free of the tears that were springing from them. She stammered for words until stopping to kiss Charlie on the cheek and smile warmly up at him. "It looks like we'll be needing two more potatoes for dinner then."

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Remus and Sirius finally woke together in the the late afternoon. They walked down to the kitchen together, an impenetrable aura of happiness surrounding them. Sirius practically bounded down the staircase; he couldn't help it. He felt so happy and free, and his heart felt like a helium balloon. He'd never felt so at home, and could hardly relax. He felt so warm with Remus's hand in his that he couldn't bear himself to remove it when they got downstairs. He walked into the kitchen to see Tonks talking animatedly to Charlie, a wide grin spreading across her face. Sirius saw Remus smile as he saw her and Charlie together. Sirius always knew that Charlie had liked Tonks, and had, _accidently_, let it slip to Tonks last week. Oops. Sirius laughed out loud as he beamed from ear to ear and looked into Remus's amber eyes. Remus grinned back at him, and motioned for him to sit down beside him at the table. Nothing could break them again; not time, not death. Nothing would ever keep them apart again. Sirius smiled in pure bliss, a feeling he hadn't felt for at least twenty years before shoveling steak into his awaiting mouth. Remus rolled his eyes in disgust before sipping his water. Sirius never did change, and never would. And for that he was grateful.

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Inspired heavily by Owl City, because it makes me feel happy and sad and mushy all at the same time.

All right, now that there's a happy ending for everyone, I'm not sure what I should write, or if I should write any more :C

I mostly wrote this story because I found myself wanting all the stories I read on this website to have a different ending, different pairings, etc.

And it really bothered me that the characters I loved couldn't have the ideal [well, my ideal] ending. For example, Remus & Tonks??? Charlie ends up with nobody???

WHY, JK Rowling, _WHY_? Haha. So, yes. Here it is. The End. Well, possibly. And I think I'm going to write another story that I'll just add my random short story ideas to.

Sound good to you? Sounds good to me. Because trust me, I've got LOADS more ideas. :D Oh dear.


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